Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Ahsas


आज मन बहुत कुछ सोच रहा है ढेर सारे सपने ओर साधन सिमित .मन की उडान बहुत ऊँची होती है ओर दुनिया की धरती बहुत ही सख्त मन उरना भी चाहे तो कितना उरः लेगा .में उर्हती भी हु तो अपने होसलो से .बस होसले नही टूटने नही चाहिय ..अपने होसलो की कितनी परवाह रहती है न सबको ...

मेरे मन का पक्षी

अपने छोटे से घोसले मई बेठे बेठे

कई सपने बुनता है

कई सपने सच भी हो जाते है

कई सपने अधूरे भी

यह मन तब भी अनगिनत

सपने देखना नही भूलता

बस मेरे मन का पाखी

हवा क झोंके से

तेज़ दोर्हता हुआ

दूर तक चला जाता है

मन को कभी एक

संतुष्टि का भावः मिलता है

कभी असंतुष्टि का

मेरे aहसास कभी मरते नही तब भी

तब देखती है ये नीलिमा एक नया सपना

चाहे पूरा हो या न हो

सपने न देखू तो शायद मेरे अहसास

ही मर जायेगे ...........................................नीलिमा शर्मा

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

जिंदगी!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tarap tarap kar tarapi jindgi
rula rula kar hansti jindgi
hans hans kar rulati jindgi
soch soch kar thakti jindgi
ye badguman jindgi
ye hassin jindgi
ye gamgin jindgi
ye khushgwar jindgi ......
ye jindgi,wo jindgi
aakhir kya hai y jindgi..
akhir kya hai y jindgi
ye meri jindgi
ye teri jindgi
ye iski jindgi
ye uski jindgi
ye hamari jindgi
ye tumhaari jindgi
ye sab kutch sochti jindgi
ye kutch bhi na sochti jindgi
akhir kaisi hoti hai y jindgi
aakhir kyo hoti hai zindgi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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. dil pe mat lo yaar........... akhir mai itna k mere pass hai meri jindgi.n i love my jindgi

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

story

KABHI kabhi life mai kuch aisa bhi ho jata hai .k jo socha bhi nhi hota ..............kuch bhi karne ka man nhi karta bas yu hi apne se batee karte karte mai us ke sath zor se jagar parhi aakhir hua hi kya tha jo mai itni biffar gyi ????????????
nhi kuch bhi to nhi bas usne muze aisa kah diya k mai apna apa kho bethi aurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr bas .jo nhi kahna vi nhi chahiye tha sab kah diya
log itni choti soch kyo rakhte hai jo muh mai aaya kah dete hai kisi ki umar ,rishte ki parwah tak nhi karte . bas ab nhi bat karni muze .y jitna bhi manaye main unke sath ab bat nhi karungi na hi unko kabhi bulaoogi ..are hamko mazak samzha hai kya ..........ham bhi insaan hai
ham home maker hai to................ haan haan homemaker ....................... ham na ho to ghar makan ban kar rah jayega .rat ko ghar aakar sona n khana yahi to karna hai to wo hotel hoga ghar nhi ..
ghar banta hai ham se naki unse ........... aakhir wo kaisi inti bat bol sakti hai
haan sach kah rahi ho aap .................... k mai gusse mai hu par aap lhi socho jab wo subah uthte ho to sabse pahle bed tea ko kahe awaz lagate he.tab ham hi to dore dore chale aate hai bas off jane tak bas wo log hamara hi nam pukarte rahte ho n ham bhi chakkarghinni ki tarah idher-udher ghumte rahte hai . are bachcho ne kuch khaya k nhi ,bachche ne parae kiya tha ya nhi . are maanji ki dwa khatam ho gyi to tumko pahle se batana tha na .akhir tumko ghar mai rakha kyo hai ...........kuch kam nhi hota tumse ........... tumse achchi to wo ..............................................????????????? ............ bas .... ..... n mera man unke aansuo ke sath gamgin sa hone laga .
haan kai din se unki chikh ........pukar sun rahi thi apne drawing room mai bethe bethe ........ .akhir mrs rajesh kyo itna annoyed si lag rahi hai kabhi kabhi bhi uche swr mai na bolne wali n hamesha apne kam se kam rakhne wali ruchi [mrs rajesh] kyo itna aandolit hai bas yahi soch kar unke ghar chal parhi thi k isi bahane maanji ki tabiyat bhi pooch lungi
ghar mai enter karte hi baigan k bhurte ki smell se muze bhi bhukh lag aayi .,ghar sheeshe ki manid chamak raha tha maanji bhi tv k samne apne manpasand seriel dekh rahi thi mai chuchap ruchi k bed room ki taraf barh gyi ..dekha k kamara to chamk raha tha agar kuch fika tha to wo ruchi ka chehra
muze dekhte hi uske man se yahi shabd nikle jinko parh kar aap sab bhi udgwin ho uthe
mr rajaesh ko ab apni wife mai kuch khas nazar nhi aa raha tha .uski har qualities ab disqualities mai badal chuki thi , sheeshe sa ghar ab to bai bhi chamka sakti hai . unka homly hona ab unke liy curse ban gya tha ............wo faffak kar ro uthi kya mai home maker nhi kya nokri na karna mera gunah hai .kya mera koi contribution nhi is ghar ko swarne mai .................
.ghar aa kar soch mai parh gyi mai k aisa kyo socha rajesh ne........ kya jo lady job nhi karti uski koi ahmiyat nhi honi chahiy .kya ghar samhalna apne aap mai koi mahan kam nhi kya sirf working women hi smartly kam kar sakti hai . bas samay ka chakra chalta hi rahta hai .kuch din bad dekha k ruchi tezi se subah subah kahi ja rahi hai ,usko us waqt awaz dena uchit nhi laga so sham k waqt usko apne ghar bulaya ....... kitna kumhala si gyi thi ruchi is ek mahine mai hi .usne bataya k didi maine ek pvt company mai job dhundh li hai par rajesh ab khush hai muze poochna nhi chahiye tha fir bhi maine pooch hi liya ... . ruchi fiki si hansi haste hue boli ..di shuru shuru mai to rajesh ko bahut hi achcha laga .par jab mai rajesh se pahle hi nikal jati hu to usko khud hi nashta lekar khana hota hai ,uski har bat sun ne ka ab waqt nhi hai mere pas , bachche kya parh rahe hai y bas pooch hi pati hu roz check karne ka waqt hi nhi , khana bhi bas ek dal sabji hi ban pata hai ,ab roz rajesh n bachcho ko lunch k liy nai nai dish nhi de pati maanji ki teen din se choti nhi bana pai hu didi mere man se poocho k muze kitna guilt hota hai jab y sab kam mai nhi kar pati .aaj betiya k no. bhi kam aaye hai to tution bhi lagwani hogi na .kya karu mai sirf husband ko satisfy karne ko noukri karni parh rahi hai kya kam paiso mai achche se guzara nhi ho raha tha ,sab ho raha tha didi .par tab ham 20"inches TV mai khush they ab rajesh plazma k sapne dekh raha hai ham ghar mai saman to bhar lenge par mere bachcho k bhavishya ki cost par ...jo bachche school se aate hi har bat sunate they aaj unki bat sun ne ka waqt hi nhi hai mere pas . mai ye nhi kahti k noukri karna galat hai par didi har ghar ki apni jarurate n paristhitya hoti hai ..... ab is umar mai maanji ko bachcho ko khana garam karke dena parta hai .ab muze roz achche kapro ki jarurat hai ,ek bai bhi lagwani hai , kitna paisa bacha paogi mai .....haan ab rajesh muze apno dostoi mai proudly introduced karata hai k k meet my wife she is working in ........ uski hansi mai meri fiki si hansi chip jati hai n muze maile kapre ,guddi ka school project ,munna ki dose ki farmaish,n maanji ka pairo ka dard yaad aata hai bas kya ham samaj mai show off karne k liy job kare kya ham apni jarurate simit nhi kar sakte ,.....kya mai gar nokri na karu to kisi dusre aise insaan ko job nhi mil jayegi jiski job se pooora ghar chalega .......sirf ego satisfy karne ko noukri kyo ? mana k stree purush ek hai par har kam ka ek adhikari hota hai purush kama kar laye n stree us money ko samazdari se kharch kare ,bachcho mao sanskar de buzurgo ki achche se sewa ho kya inki koi mol hai ? .............................. mai soch mai parh gyi umar mai kitni choti hai ruchi par samazdar kitni..................kya ruchi job chor de ya karti rahe bas ye sab sochti mai ghar aa gyi .......... man aandolit ho utha ..par sach kahu aaj muze khushi hue k maine apni job chor di mere bachche muzse dil ki bat to kah pate hai ,mere in- laws ko akelapan to nhi bhogna parha , mere bachcho ko kisi tutor ki jarurat to nhi parhi apne hubby par pyar umar aaya k unhone mere har faile ka swagat kiya ..kisi jhuthi shaan ya bhotik cheejo ki lalsa k liy paiso ki mashin nhi banaya haan mai proudly kah sakti hu 'I M HOME MAKER. jarurat hai tabhi job karo . apni paristhityo ka akalan karna bahut jaruri hai ..............

Monday, March 16, 2009

story

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..-A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Soft ware Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do some thing more than him.. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year I decide to go to India .. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India.. The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA..
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India.. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'
I am still searching for an answer...... ......... .!!!
... WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..- A Bitter Reality