thanx rashmi for awekening .....

 agar mil jaye ek din k zindgi.....  aaj face book par rashmi prabha ne  y topic diya  k jo bhi likhna chahe kuch likh kar bhej de .......... tab se  bas yahi soch rahi hu ... sab jante hai k ek din to is duniya se chale hi jana hai fir bhi is satya ko sweekar kar pana bahut mushkil haai..a bhool hi jate hai ham is sansar mai ek guest ki tarah ..bas apna role paly karna hai .... n chale jana hai .. sabse bari bat to yah hai y bhi koi nhi janta k jana kaha hai .... anjaan safar .. na manzil ka pata n n a sathi ka ..bas jana hai .................. mujhe ajeeb si virakta si hue ...... k kya mai pagalo ki tarah farm ville khel rahi hu life mai kiytna kuch bacha hai karne ko sikhne ko ..kaha kho gyi hu mai ...kaha gyi meri saraj shaktiya .....ysa ai k mai bahut achcha nhi likh pati but apne man k bhavo ko shabd dene mai koi burai bhi nhi hai .... .. mai nhi janti k rashmi ne sab kyu likhne ko kaha .. bas mera man tab se yahi soch raha hai k agar y din meri zindgi mai aaya to....................
 ufff.................
 ....... mai kisi ko kuch nhi bataoongi k y mera life ka last day hai husband n bachcho ko kadapi nhi ... mai janti hu k mai unki life mai kya ahmiyat rakhti hu mere jane k sunkar pata nhi woh kya react kare ....kai bar kuch hadse jab ho jate hai to ham unko jhelne ki shakti apne under le aate hai lekin pahle se pata ho to insaan kai bar kamzor pzrh jata hai jaise ki mai ..... is waqt goya meri life ka kal last day hai ...
 mai sabse pahle apn guru ki pooja karoongi koshish karoongi k ek bar unse bat ho sake ..apni mamma jinko mai bahut miss karti hu kabhi unke  samne aone emotions nhi show kar pai  unko bataoongi k maine kab kab unko galat samjha .. n bina emotional hue unse mafi bhi mangna chahoongi ..... sab  logo ko    phone karke bas yu hal chal poochna chahungi .....  han ek nari sulabh icjhcha apne saman ki will jarur bana doongi n list bhi mera kon sa kimti saman kaha hai ..apne sab udhar chuka doongi agar koi hue to ........... sabse jyada ... mai hubby n bachcho ko samay doongi ...... unse woh sab bbate kahoongi jo aaj tak nhi kah pai apne emotions ....apni ichchaiy ....... apni diary mai pen down karna chahoongi ...... ek bar ji bhar kar dekhna chahoongi in deewaro ko jinhone mujhe suraksha ka vatavarn diya ..jaha maine ek dulahan bankar kadam rakhe ......  .bassssssssssssss na koi khas is tarah ki ichcha hai na koi gam ... bas apne man k bhavo ko apno ko nhi kah pai ..... sabse bad mai mai ..meditation karna chahoongi ......... bas.............
 thanx rashmi ...tumne achanak se y prashan uthakr andolit sa kar diya man ko ...k mai kya kar rahi hu ..kyu nhi ek practical life ji rahi ..y kya hai  jo mai mrigtrishna mai fasi ja rahi hu ....... pata nhi jindgi mai kitne din hai kam se kam unko to kuch sarthak disha ji sakti hai na ....  ..
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. mai is waqt kuch sochkar nhi likh rahi hu vicharo ki jo bhi djaraparwah shrikhla ban rahi hai bas likh rahi hu ..mai nhi janti koi parhega bhi ya nhi ...bas  ...... . bas my love .... n my kids .... n my parents ....jane anjane jo bhi maine galitiyaa ki unke k lie kshama .. n ....agar ishwar chahta hai mujhe fir se is duniya mai manav jeewan dena .. to mai neelima bankar hi janam lena chahti hu ....